Kingdum Harts Chain o Memuriez, as told by Lolcat
by Kiwi Bloodstain
Summary: A Lolcat has stumbled upon KH: Chain of Memories and has decided to share it's version of the story. Can I haz cheezburgerz? Rated for very miniscule suggestive themes. Other KH games will be done if you like this one! R&R PLZ!


_A/N: Look, I'm still alive! Hooray!_

_Gonna keep this a bit short, but basically, I randomly decided I was going to write about all of the Kingdom Hearts games, but in LOLCAT style. Betcha didn't see that coming. Who doesn't love LOLCATS? lol. I can pretty much say this will be the only OOC i'll ever do. XD_

_Anyway, I think I might get comments asking why it's not in all caps, like most lolcat stuff is. Honestly, who wants to read something in all caps? all caps make me get a headache, so I figured just doing it the right way was best._

_Don't ask me why I started with Chain of Memories. I don't know why. lol. I'm planning on doing all of the KH games if people like it. Well, enjoy! (Note, this does not include Reverse, Rebirth. I will make one if people like this.)_

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**Kingdum Harts: Chain o Memuriez, as told by an Lolcat.**

Oh hai... k, so, in da beginnin thar wuz dis boi Sora hoo had dis cousin hoo had dis gurlfrend hoo knew dis guy dat wuz his bestest frend evar namd Riku. Riku lovd only wan ting, yez mah frend, cheezburgerz.

But den Riku ran away wif dis mouse 2 teh dark side, cuz dey sae "K, so we got ur cheezburgerz, k?" But Riku no eatd mouse. Sora got mad an sed "im gonna find mah bestest frend!" so he findz dis dawg dat had bad teefs, Sora gaev him toofbrush 4 Caturday, but dey doan share it. Den thar wuz dis duck hoo wuz all liek "RAAZARAAZARAAZA!" Sora doan knoe wut he sez so he just finks teh duck wuz stoopid.

So den dey go walkin down dis road dat had no bafrooms. It wuz all quiet an green, an den that wuz dis othr dawg, not liek the bad toof dawg, but Sora got all excitd an sed "Oh hai dawg, plz taek me 2 place wuz i can find mah frend an bafroom kthx."

But dis dawg wuz stoopid 2, an dey end up at dis castle dat wuz all sidewayz an weird lookin. Sora wuz liek "I SMELL CHEEZBURGERZ!" an ran inside.

Suddenly, Sora saw dood wif spikey red hair an he wuz liek "HOO R U?!" an teh red dood sed "Y halo thar, so i herd u liek mudkipz." Sora sed "Ya, I liek mudkipz, moar than u do!" Den teh red dood wuz liek "NOWAI! I liek them the mostest! I CHALLENGE U!" Den fier cam frum no place an Sora yel "WTH?!"

But teh red dood doan liek bbq so he sed "Dis castle b in ur mind mesin wif ur memuriez dood, taek mah hand an i mak it all bettr, an no i r not pedo. Ur brainz got memurized nao?"

But Sora sed "NOWAI, DO NOT WANT, GTFO!"

So teh red dood got all smily lookin an sed "Well fine! But if u keep goin, ur memuriez will go bye, like remembr dat tiem wut u did last summr at band camp? Well ya, u wont remembr dat no moar. But therez dis caek, rite?! So if u git 2 teh end, u git caek. Lawts ov caek. Srsly." Den teh force wuz wif him an he disapeard. Liek, he wuz thar, den liek, poof, he wuz not thar no moar. Srsly.

So dey went up theez stairz an visietd placez dey knew but dey wuz not thar, an their frenz b liek "HOO R U, GTFO." But evry tiem dey got dun dey wuz liek "i dun remembr" an deh duck wuz liek "OH NOEZ, WE IZ DOOMD!"

But dey didnt kno dey wuz bein watchd by teh doodz in black (cept wan wuz woman but she had no boobiez, so dey say k, we mak you dood in black.) Wan wuz teh red dood hoo had dis best frend hoo wuz savin him ice cream, but he wuz thar long tiem, so his ice cream meltd. Den thar wuz ice dood dat wuz liek " i iz scientist, i kill u all wif mah ninja skillz." den that wuz dis othr dood, hoo wuz gurl when celing kat made hiem, but pink dood did not aproov, so he sed "Dood i wants ding dawng kthxbai." an so it wuz. But he had pink hair an teh lipstik so he lood liek gurl. But hiz lipglos b poppin, so all teh boiz kep stoppin. So pink dood approv.

While dis wuz goin on, Sora kept tinkin bout dis gurl, yah dis gurl he kno when he wuz babeh. Dey wud sit an eated cheezburgerz an talk bout mudkips all dae long. But den she wuz liek dat dood wif teh force an disapeard. But he not remembr her naem. Den he finks dat she got teh caek, so he keeps goin to get gurl wif teh caek. But den the gurl in black came and wuz liek "U dunt remembr her naem, u r jerk." But Sora had dis hooj key dat wuz so hooj 2 lock ur mom in teh closet, he hit her on teh hed wif it an she go "OW! U IZ LAME!!!"

Den Sora findz his best frend! NOWAI! Yez wai, he did! But his best frend hoo realle wuznt wuz all mad cuz teh ice dood took his cheezburgerz, and he wantd dem bak. He did luv dem so mutch. So Sora an Repliku got all mad an startd arguin while teh pink dood wuz laughin an molestin teh gurl dat sora couldnt remembr. An teh red dood wuz liek "Dood, dat not kewl. Do not want." Den the pink dood wuz liek "Fine, GTFO!" So tehred dood got real mad, his fier wuz all crazy, so he decidd he wud set sumbudy on fier. So he pop uf wif Sora an ice dood and foun out dat teh ice dood tell sora dat teh caek wuz liez. An he wuz liek "Oh hai. U tell him 2 much bout caek...so u go away nao, kthxbai." Den he snappd his fingerz an teh ice dood went KABOOM! Srsly, no joke. It wuz liek teh force, but wif exploshuns an missilez an nukez. Evrybudy deid. Sept Sora. An Austrailia. But dats 4 Kingdum Harts 3, rite? Cauze dis game b ratd 4 evryone, so teh main charactr no dye, rite?!?!? Sora startd cryin "Y U DO DAT!?!?!?" An red dood sai "i did it 4 teh lulz."

But teh red dood was reele a ninja an dunt liek mudkipz. an let caek gurl go. He laff an wus like "OMGWTFBBQLMAO." Cuz he no laff.

Sora wuz so sad dat teh caek wuz not real, he got mad an yelld at his frenz hoo wuz ded caus of teh exploshuns, an den findz dat gurl he thot bout alot. He wuz liek "OMG, I REMEMBR U! U haz caek, rite?" An she sai "No, i doan has caek? I b in ur head brain ninja-ing ur memuriez." Den that wuz awkward silence. Everythen Sora thot wur rite in teh wurld wuz wrong. So vry wrong.

Bak in da bat cave, teh red dood went 2 teh pink dood an wuz liek "AHA! I iz not ur frend no moar, I wuz bad guy 2 u bad guy, so i haz all ur base belong 2 me. So u gotta dye nao, k?" Den teh pink dood sed "Wuts wif teh tude, Sonic teh Hedgehog? I knew u nevr liekd mudkipz. I iz Japaneez basment kat, so u haz no chance survive maek ur tiem!" So den teh epic deul wif teh YUUGEEOHH cardz wuz had.

Jus b4 teh epic battle scene wen teh shirts git rippd off an a gurl wif big boobz sai "UZ TEH POWA OF TEH FRENSHIP, KTHX?!?!?", Sora ran in an wuz gonna hurt teh red dood. Teh red dood got mad dat teh boob gurl wuz lie 2 (fangurlz all ova teh wurld b mad 2, dey sai "ME WANT" 2 c red dood wif shirt off.) an trid 2 kill pink dood, but teh pink dood thot he be teh best powa rangr evar, so he usd teh curl hoo had no caek as sheild.

In da end, Sora killd evrybudy wif his hooj key, an thar wuz no caek, or cheezburgerz. Sora crid but teh gurl wuz liek "No cry, go 2 sleep, I make u feelz all bettr k?" Sora got excitd cause he thot he wuz gonna git laid but it turnd out teh gurl wuz jus witch hoo lockd him up in pritee wite eastr egg 2 a yer cauze she felt liek it. Teh red dood wz teh only survivor person, so he went bak home an told his wifey 2 fit bak in da kitchen, an he sat an eated his ice cram wif his bestest frend and many lawls were shaerd. Happeh tiem all round 2 evrybudy. Cept 2 dose hoo explodd. They wuz not havin happeh tiems, oh noez, cause u cant has caek wen ur ded.

Gottagonaokthxbai.


End file.
